Walking side by side

For Christians struggles with mental health can be a source of confusion, guilt and shame. They feel they shouldn’t feel this way.  They wrestle with why God might be allowing them to feel this way.  Or God can seem completely silent and absent. Therefore, it is so important we know how to support people well.  It would be lovely to have a formula that can be applied to supporting a friend struggling.  However, there is no such thing.  But there are some steps we can take, as we walk side by side our friends in love.

1. Building up relationships of truth and love
Underneath the symptoms there is a person who is loved by God.  And that person will benefit from being surrounded with an array of godly people who can gently encourage them to look to Jesus and persevere through the tough times.  However, they may well find it hard to make the first move so it might well be helpful to be proactive.  Calling round to say hello, phoning to invite them out, sending encouraging texts.  Though it will be important not to overload someone who is already feeling overwhelmed with the pressure of life.

It is good to thank someone when they confide in you.  It is helpful to reassure them that you don’t think any differently of them.  It also key to say that you want to encourage them as they work through their struggles.

2. Encouraging expression of emotion
While chatting with someone it is important to let them share how they really feel.  It is right to gently re-orientate them to God’s truth or challenge the negative thinking at some stage but it is wrong to try and shut them up.  This simply encourages them to pretend they are feeling something they are not.  It is better to let them pour out their feelings and thoughts.  It can also be helpful to show that the Bible doesn’t shy away from some of the emotions they are feeling.  Job was depressed.  The Psalms are full of it.

3. Identifying false beliefs
Mental health can reveal an unhealthy fear, anger, dashed hopes, a feeling of failure and shame, or feelings of guilt and legalism.  All these say something about our beliefs in God.  Some may be patently obvious as the depressed person cries that they are are unloveable.  Others maybe more subtle - lying awake worrying suggest they be struggling to trust God and that he is good.  While others wear a cultural disguise as people wrestle with the belief that they deserve to comfortable.

We must never judge someone for their wrong thinking but it is important we gently challenge them.  None of us benefit from believing things that simply aren't true.  This is especially true when it comes to our thoughts about God and what it means to be a Christian.

4. Promoting biblical beliefs
This needs to be done humbly and sensitively.  There is no place for simply blurting out ‘that’s not true’!  But when someone says, “God doesn't love me, it is possible to challenge, gently, “but doesn't the Bible say that God has lavished his love on all his children at the start of 1 John 3?”  We want to be bring people back to the truths of the Bible.  We want them to fear God, keep his commandments, love him and love others.  We want to teach them how to persevere.

6. Modeling perseverance
People rarely move to fine overnight.  It may take months or years.  It’s important to pace your support from the starts.  Get a next network of people to help.  Know what is realistic for you to support in a sustainable way.

People often find they have some good periods and then a period of relapse.  We will need to ask God for patience, perseverance and love in those moments.

6. Praying and praising
Praying is essential.  Pray as Paul prays in Ephesians 1.  Do keep encouraging them to pray but do so in ways that are achievable.  Make sure they know you are praying for them when they can’t.  Share with them ways they could pray for you.

There are some great Psalms in the bible that begin, “Lord, this hurts” but end with the words “But I trust in you”.  Using the Psalms as a basis for prayer and praise can be useful to pray with the person who is struggling.  Prayer could be hard for them so you want to help with them whenever you can.  Model how they can pray and make it as straightforward as possible.

If you have any questions about this blog or are affected by any of these issues, please do email womenatcharlotte@gmail.com

What might you expect from a GP?

One of the ways we can support our friends or family members struggling with mental health is to encourage them to speak to their GP.  Jo Rose, one of our members shares what you might expect from your GP.  

What you might expect if you see a GP about mental health problems?  The most obvious to me is that you'll get someone who deals with this all the time and will therefore be experienced at asking the questions and gently teasing out the story and how it is affecting the person.  People perceive that there is still a stigma attached to owning up to this sort of thing, but this is just not true in general practice.  Your GP really has heard it all before (we're hard to shock!). We're very happy to cried on, and the box of tissues is probably the piece of equipment I use most often. 

So why might you recommend to a friend that it would be worth seeing a GP?  Christians particularly often feel that we 'should' be able to deal with stress, depression and anxiety within the framework of our faith and church supports. What about the worry that our GP will tackle the issues from a very secular position?  While this may be true, it is also true that there is real value in what a GP can offer that complements and runs alongside the more specifically 'Christian' support.  It's a bit more complicated than the analogy that 'of course you'd see someone about a broken leg', but there is some truth in here in that there is value in a medical approach to a medical problem.  Of course, all this is also relevant to non-Christian friends who you are supporting and also seeking to introduce concepts of gospel hope.  There are also a lot of Christian GPs, and if you mention that you have a faith you may find that they do too! 

As a definite cut-off, if low mood, stress or anxiety are affecting function you should see a GP – if your friend is struggling to concentrate at work, not sleeping, eating dramatically more or less than usual, cutting themselves off from friends and family or expressing suicidal thoughts it would really be worth them seeing someone professional who is in a position to help.

What could your GP offer?
Time off work – this can be all it takes to get through a period of acute stress, just 'removing work from the equation' can give people space to reflect and recharge. I always encourage people I am signing off for this reason that they are not 'off sick' and that they should be out and about, taking exercise, meeting friends etc. Maybe you could help by providing companionship here?

Signposting to helpful resources, often online, telephone or group resources looking at coping with stress, relaxation strategies and anxiety control techniques. One to one counselling is almost impossible to obtain on the NHS, but if someone has very specialist issues they may be able to see a psychologist after a very long wait.

Medication – while this is not something that everyone thinks is right for them, there are a definite group in whom anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication can be really helpful.  The criticism has been made that we have 'medicalised' normal stress and sadness, and this may well be true, as a prescription is quicker and easier to give than a good long listening consultation. However, when sadness, stress and anxiety start to last for a long time (more than 6 weeks) and to interfere with normal function the time to consider medication has arrived. Modern anti-depression and anti-anxiety medications are not addictive, although they may bring unwanted side effects such as weight gain. They tend to remove the extremes of emotion, and I describe them to patients as 'helping you feel a bit more steady while you come to terms with what has happened. They don't fix anything but help you cope'. They give people a more level platform, from which they can work on simple mood techniques and focus on getting better.

From a GP's perspective, what can you offer your friends who are feeling like this?
Encourage them to make an appointment and then to talk about what is really bothering them.  I often meet people who have come in once or twice already and spoken about minor physical problems and then on the third time say 'well what is really bothering me is I feel sad all the time...'

Offer to go along with them. The first consultation is often the hardest as much of the background story will be told. A supportive friend who will sit with you is great (maybe even staying in the waiting room rather than in with the GP if they'd prefer). People are often quite upset after they've told the story, so being together quietly after is useful too.

Find out what the GP recommended and offer support with any decisions, for example whether to start medication. 

Just be with them – offer to go for a short walk, sit together, cook some easy food together. 

Of course pray for them, and with them if that is appropriate.

 If you have any questions about this blog or are affected by any of these issues, please do email womenatcharlotte@gmail.com

Depression - Allison's story

At our last Women's Ministry Event we considered how to support our friends who are hurting, in particular those struggling with mental illness.  Over a series of 3 posts we will share what we covered.  

Firstly, to help us understand what it is like to have depression, one of our members Allison, shares her experience.

I have had depression twice in the last 10 years.  I thought it was one of these things that once I was through it the first time, that it would never come back again due to the circumstances at that time.  I also thought the first time it happened that God wouldn’t allow this to happen to me again but I was wrong.  I had no previous experience or understanding of mental health illnesses but now having experienced this twice it is an issue that I am passionate about and that it should be talked about so that we can understand and help other through it. 

How did I then realise that I had depression again?  Just over 4 years ago I was juggling my job and the role of being a wife and mother and all the duties involved with that.  I thought I was managing but after returning from a family holiday the work pressures hit me hard.  I was feeling emotional and tired all the time.  I was low, I was irritable, I couldn’t make rational decisions, I wasn’t getting any enjoyment out of life.  I had no motivation to do anything and I was anxious and worried about everything.

After the first few days I thought I would be ok but after a few weeks’ things got worse.  I was feeling so bad I wished I had never woken up that morning and I wished I didn’t have to face the day ahead.  Then one Friday evening the boys were at Cubs & Scouts and my husband was waiting for them to bring them home.  I decided a good way to try & relax was to have a bath, but once I was in the bath the dark cloud of depression was trying to speak to me.  My thoughts were over taken with you are worthless, you can’t do your job properly, you have been a terrible and useless wife and mother, they would be better off without you.  Then I can only describe an experience of the Holy Spirit as the next thoughts were STOP; do you want those boys to come home and find their mum like that, get out of the bath now.  I have never got out of a bath so quickly, I broke down in tears and cried out to God to help me, it was my first step to a very long road of recovery. 

That weekend God put in my path different women who would direct me to begin to seek help.  There happened to be a women’s brunch on that Saturday morning to which Graeme forced me to go to hoping that I would seek help there.  I didn’t want to go and socialise, I felt I had to put on a front.  I can’t remember what the brunch was about but I remember the importance of being honest as to how things are with yourself.  If someone asks how are you, be willing to share. 

On the Sunday morning after the morning service I was in the lower hall and Alison Watson came up to me and asked me how I was.  I poured out everything that had happened in the last few days and weeks.  Alison is a GP and God definitely put her in my path that morning.  She gave me specific instructions to contact my own GP first thing Monday morning and tell them everything.  She also came to my house that evening to check that I had done that.  She talked about our worth in Jesus and what we mean to him.  She asked me to begin reading through a Psalm each day as reading my Bible was something that I had been unable to do for a long time.  She then also set up a one to one with someone who had been through a similar experience. 

The road to recovery was long and difficult.  There were many doctors’ appointments, physiatrists appointment’s, and one to one study’s.  There were times when suicidal thoughts came back or I would turn to self-harming but the practical help from the medical professionals was invaluable.  I was given medication to take daily and at first the dose wasn’t strong enough so it had to be increased.  I was also sent along to cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) which is where they begin to see what has maybe triggered your depression but more importantly to recognise what are your trigger points and how you are going to deal with them.  If I got worked up or anxious about something, I was to go for a walk.  If I was overly tired, I was to get more sleep.  I was to be honest and open about how I was feeling and if people couldn’t deal with that I was not to worry what they thought as that was their issue not mine. 

Depression is not an easy illness to live with.  It is debilitating.  You feel like you are in pain and no-one can see it. Every day is a struggle, you hate yourself and what depression is doing to you.  Nothing is enjoyable, nothing can make you smile.  There is no overnight cure but it is important to seek help.  I thankfully have been free from depression for 3 years but the 1 year that I endured it was the hardest of my life so far.  I don’t feel I ever will be cured but I have learned to live with it.

God taught me a lot through my time of depression; I hadn’t fallen away from faith but I had become complacent in my faith.  I believe He allowed me to go through depression to bring me back closer to Him, to remind me that I need to rely completely and totally on Him and not my own strength.  When you have depression you have no strength so relying on God is all you can do to get you through each day.   Now I don’t worry about what might happen if I get depression again.  Instead I have come to ask that if God does allow me to go through it again, what is He going to teach me this time?

If you have any questions about this blog or are affected by any of these issues, please do email womenatcharlotte@gmail.com

All that Glitters

Our Christmas Outreach event is happening on Thursday 3rd December at 7.30pm. This year each person will get to make a Pinflair sequin Christmas tree decoration (examples found here - Blue Star). 

 There will also be Christmas treats and a bible talk on "All that glitters at Christmas'.

Tickets are £3 and can be purchased from Eventbrite - http://www.eventbrite.com/e/all-that-glitters-tickets-19490977037

Talking about mental health

At our next Women's Ministry event we are going to considering how we help and support our friends who are hurting, in particular supporting those who are going through struggles with mental health. 

This infographic from the Mental Health Foundation shows the importance of talking about Mental Health.  1 in 4 people in Britan will experience a mental health problem in the course of any given year.  In a church our size that could be around 12o people.  For many Christians these struggles can be a source of confusion, guilt and shame.  As an expression of our love for one another we need to know what these different issues are and how best to support our friends. 

We will be covering some of these topic at the event on  Saturday 14th November at 3pm.  We will meet in the lounge for afternoon tea followed by a teaching session and discussion. If you are able to come, sign up on the doodle poll.  

In the meantime here are somethings you can do now:

1. Pray for women in our church who are struggling with mental health illnesses
2. Get in contact with those you know are struggling with this issue in church and ask how you can support them.

How to talk to your friends about Jesus

Mission is not an event we tack onto our already busy lives. It is our life. Mission should be the way we live, not something we add onto life…We can be missional in everyday ways with out even overloading our schedules.  Jonathan Dobson

Jesus' last words to the disciples in Matthew 28 were that they should do and make disciples of all nations. They were to tell people about him. Many of us know this command to tell people about Jesus. We know we are to evangelise but so often our attempts to tell our friends about Jesus appear to fall flat. We then can end up avoiding talking about him altogether and feeling guilty.  At our last women's event we discussed how we can talk to our friends about Jesus. You can listen to the talk here -

The handout can be found here - How to talk to your friends about Jesus

Our recent sermon series on Acts also helpfully look at how we can share our faith with others.  You can listen to the sermons here - Acts 16:6-40, Acts 17:1-15 or Acts 17:16-34

Our next event is on Nov 14th at 3pm looking at the question, 'How do I care for my friend who is hurting?' Do get the date in your diary. These events are such a great way to meet other women in our church family.

If you have any questions about this blog, please do email womenatcharlotte@gmail.com

Women's Event September

Our next Women's Ministry event is happening on Saturday 26th September.  These meetings are an opportunity for women of all ages to come together for food, fellowship and discipleship.  This year we have been looking at how to apply God’s word to our everyday situations.  This month we will be considering the question, 'How do I talk to my friends about Jesus?'

We will meet in the lounge at 7.30pm for puddings, followed by a talk and discussion in groups.  If you are able to come please sign up on the following doodle poll - http://doodle.com/sx6t7eiev3nv9c9b

Also if you are able to bring a pudding, please do email womenatcharlotte@gmail.com and let me know.

Women's Ministry for 2015

There are a variety of opportunities for the Women at Charlotte to meet together; from small group Bible study to all-age teaching and discussion. Here are the dates for all that is happening this term. Do make coming a priority and get the dates in your diary.

Time Out
This is an informal gathering of any women who wish to meet on a Tuesday morning in the church. We have time for coffee and then we move into a Bible study. A crèche is available.

This term we are studying a 1 Peter and Titus. Coffee and tea are available from 9:15am onwards in the lower lounge and we normally finish at 11am. Our dates for the rest of 2015 are as follows: 18th August - 15th December (no meeting on 13th October).

Women's Events
These meetings are an opportunity for women of all ages to come together for food, fellowship and discipleship. We meet on a Saturday in the lounge at Charlotte Chapel. Our time together will include a teaching session followed by discussion.

This year we have been looking at how to apply God’s word to our everyday situations. There are two more events in 2015 looking at the following questions:

• Sept 26th at 7.30pm - How do I talk to my friends about Jesus? 
• Nov 14th at 3pm - How do I care for my friend who is hurting?

Women's Morning Fellowship

WMF meets each Thursday in Charlotte Chapel from 10am for refreshments and plenty of chat. From 10:30-11:30am there is a time of worship and a speaker who gives a 20minute Bible-based talk. Ladies of all ages are welcome.

This term WMF runs from 1st October to the 10th December.

Christmas Outreach
Our Christmas Outreach event will be happening on Thursday 3rd December at 7.30pm. Theme and talk are to be confirmed. These events are always very popular and great to invite our friends along to, so do get the date in your diary now and start praying about who you could invite.

Meet the Women at Charlotte: Selassi

This post marks the next in a series of interviews with different women who are part of the Charlotte Chapel family.  We hope to allow you to hear a little about the different lives we live, what makes us tick and how we seek to grow in our faith.  This time, we would like you to meet Selassi. 

Thank you Selassi for agreeing to share and congratulations to you and Alex on your new marriage!  How did you become a Christian? 

I became a Christian when I was 16.  We'd been taught well at Sunday Focus each week and friends and I were planning on going to a Christian Music Festival at the Royal Highland Centre at Ingliston.  At the concert we were singing out to Hillsong and I found myself thinking about Christ and why I was there.  I was thinking about the fact that we were singing praises to God yet my heart was not fully God's.  The band stopped singing and shared the Gospel briefly, and prayed, and I prayed too, asking for forgiveness for my sins that had crucified Christ and asked God to be in control of my heart and life.  We were told to leave the main hall if we had repented and given our lives to Christ that day and we sat in small groups with other Christians and prayed again.  It was all very corporate but very personal at the same time, and an emotionally intense with the worship and people there - I remember being so full of joy.  We were strongly encouraged to tell someone when we left that day so besides my friends I told my Dad in the car home.  Becoming a Christian though has been something that has and is happening in the days since - in the cycles of repentance and forgiveness, making mistakes and trying/learning to die to self, live for Christ and live with faith.

Do you have a favourite Christian song - what is it?

Rock of Ages. Old but timeless words.

If you knew you were going to a desert island and could take only one book (in addition to the Bible) what would it be?

I enjoy most books.  I read too much to choose! 

What is your youngest memory?

I think it's the memory of getting lost at church in Ghana. No one came to get me from Sunday School so I left by myself. My aunt found me wandering in the crowd and I think I burst into tears when she came up to me. 

Where is your favourite place to be?

Anywhere I have good memories-mainly places in Ghana and certain places in Scotland like Achiltibuie.

What is your signature dish in the kitchen?

Pancakes, not exactly substantial...! 

What brings you the greatest joy?

Too many things to put!

What are you usually doing on a Wednesday afternoon?

I am usually doing siting at my desk in the office working on a Wednesday afternoon. Probably snacking too.

What challenges does being a Christian bring to your personal situation?

I find being a Christian challenging with old friends and at work - probably because I find the Gospel is best shared in those situations by actions instead of words.  But the challenging places are also a good place to be accountable, to see whether my actions are just to try and fit in, or whether what I say and do is distinct for Christ.

If you have enjoyed reading Judith's interview, please do let us know if there are other women at Charlotte that you would like to hear from.

Women's Ministry Events

This year in our events we are looking at some of the questions we can wrestle with as we try to work out how to apply God’s word to our everyday situations. 

At our next event, on the 23rd May, we are thinking about how to be a good friend. In an online culture where many of us can have hundreds on "friends", why do we find ourselves still struggling with loneliness?  In church, a place which should be characterised by love and acceptance, why do we find our interactions awkward and superficial. The Bible has a lot to say about friendship. We will spend some time looking at what it has to say and the application to our lives. 

We will meet in the Lounge at 3pm.  Our time together will include afternoon tea and a teaching session followed by discussion.  To help with catering please sign up here http://doodle.com/rerqw2qcpqqtaxd3 or phone the office.

Purity is possible

Pornography is a taboo topic among many Christians today--especially women. But women can and do become enslaved to it. Impure images, steamy novels, even television dramas captivate many minds and hearts. One of our members has courageously come forward to share her testimony of how God and his grace has worked through her struggle.  

"I want to share with you something that God has worked in me for the past couple years since I became a Christian, and hopefully encourage some of you if you’re struggling with something similar.

My battle against sin began when I declared myself as a Christian; and there was one private struggle that left me disgusted with myself almost every day. My battle with pornography dominated my spiritual life.

It started out seemingly innocent, a curiosity of the materials on the internet when I started having free access. As with many addictions my initial thoughts sounded something like this: I’ll be able to stop reading it when I need to, it couldn’t possibly hurt, I probably wasn’t going to become addicted, and if no one saw me reading, it wasn’t sin…I ended up addicted to pornography and my life became quite out of control. 

Pornography became an escape route from everything I was afraid of, anything that made me insecure. As I grew older, so did my dependence and addiction. I no longer sacrificed sleep or skipped school because of it, so I felt like I was in control even though that wasn’t the case, and a pattern started to emerge. Times of stress, of anger, of frustration, of fear, of rejection, of failure…I became increasingly dependent on porn as a way of relieving my emotions. 

As I drew closer to God, I became more aware of the underlying insecurities behind this addiction. After I became a Christian I struggled with, and continue to struggle with learning to rely on God’s grace and provision.

Some days it was an easy victory, but most days it was a losing battle. I became frustrated and every time I gave into temptation these thoughts would arise: “I need to work harder at being a good Christian, then maybe I won’t struggle with it anymore. I am not good enough, I don’t deserve God’s grace anyways so why bother trying to fight temptation. I’m not “pure” enough. I’m saved…but I need to do better.” In fact the longer I managed to keep myself clear from pornography, the harder I fell the next time I gave into temptation, and these thoughts seemed more and more truthful. Ironically I made this sin an idol; I measured my worth as a Christian by how often I overcame this temptation.

I tried everything. Physically staying away from my computer, finding new hobbies, reading the Bible, chatting with friends, asking people to hold me accountable, reading books written by Christian authors targeted to this particular subject, and at my worst times my computer lived with my neighbour. But I quickly discovered that none of these helped with the internal battle, because they never addressed the problem of the heart.

Ultimately the greatest peace came when I stopped frantically looking around for something that would cure this temptation and entrusted my struggles to God. I started going before him and prayed about how much I struggled with it, asking him to show me the benefit of these struggles. It was all about patience. Most importantly, l realised that the more I was willing to bring my weaknesses and struggles before God, the stronger I grew. As the importance and significance of the cross grew, all my sins had to shrink in comparison.

At the end of each year I wrote down my struggles, asking God for greater wisdom and discipline the next year. In the first year, the only victory was simply being able to seek help and identify the motives. Later it became the decreasing amount of time I spent accusing myself, and it became progressively easier to guard my heart against temptation. As he poured out his love for me, the gap between falling and picking myself up became shorter. The less time I dwelt on my own sin, the more I was able to focus on God’s grace.

Instead of asking “why me and porn?” I started asking “why not me and porn?”. I’m not proud of my sins, but I am proud of God’s display of love and patience through teaching me to fight this temptation.

I discovered the joy of being reborn as a follower of Christ. God created me, and everyone here, and knew about every detail of our lives before it even began. He knew the temptations I would face even before I was born, knew that I would be a sinner, that I would turn my back to him, knew of my insecurities, and his response was to open my eyes and gift me with an understanding of the gospel.

Because I recognised how powerless I am before temptation, I have learned to crave God’s words and presence in my life. I have learned how much God cares about every detail of my life, and most importantly I have learned to be amazed at the meaning behind Christ’s death.

The main problem behind my battle with pornography is not that I access it; the true problem is that I have an adulterous heart that is always looking to replace God with something else. Once I realised this, the struggle itself became a lot more manageable.

So I share with you these works of my heavenly father, who will and who is able to make unbreakable promises and has claimed me as his own. I share with you this verse from Romans that has helped encourage me along the way: “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith." (Romans 3:23-25)."

If this is a struggle for you, please do speak to someone. You could email Rachel at womenatcharlotte@gmail.com. There are also good resources on the subject. Below are two recommended books.

HELP! She's Struggling with Pornography - This booklet redefines pornography in biblical terms and explores its dangers, including those of the socially acceptable forms particularly alluring to women. Learn how the Bible exposes the heart of the problem and provides abundant hope for freedom.
Purity is Possible - In this refreshingly honest, resolutely hope-filled and gospel-soaked book, Helen Thorne speaks the unspoken.  In doing so, she shows how purity is better and more satisfying than fantasy - and that, whoever you are and whatever your struggles, that purity is possible.

How do we behave as Christian in an online world?

Why talk about how we behave online?  This short video might open your eyes (you can stop it at about 3mins 50sec).

It's slightly business focused but it makes a good point.  There is a more update to date video out there.  But this info-graph shows how things have changed in the past four years.

Social medial has brought about a fundamental shift in the way was communicate.  And this is why we need to talk about digital technology.   We want to find a place where our use of digital technology it is informed by the Bible and by an understanding of what digital technology is.  We don’t want to be Christians who completely reject digital technology any more than we want to be those who embrace them without thinking.  Instead we want to be disciplined in discerning to embrace what can be embraced and reject what can be rejected.  

You can listen to the talk here (the first couple of seconds after the video was watched weren't recorded) - 

The handout can be found here - Online Questions

The rest of the dates for 2015 women's ministry events are as follows.  Get them in your diary now.  

• April 25th at 3pm - How can I be a good friend?
• September 26th at 7.30pm- How do I talk to my friends about Jesus?
• November 7th at 3pm - How do I care for my friend who is hurting?

What's going on in February?

In February we have two events for the women at Charlotte. The first is a chance for us gather together as a family and learn from God's word and the second is an opportunity to invite our friends along to get to know others in our church family.

Brunch
At Charlotte we have 4 opportunities a year to gather as women to learn and grown together.  The first these events is a brunch on Sat 7th Feb. We believe these events are really important opportunities for us to model the principles of Titus 2.   In a big church it can be hard for deep relationships to develop between older women and younger women as we don't normally meet.  If you are an 'older woman', the younger women of Charlotte chapel need you; if you are a 'younger woman', you need an older woman in your life and this is an opportunity to find one!  In reality, we are all younger and older women and we all have a role to play in our church community.  We will miss you if you are not there.  

This year we are looking at some of the questions we can wrestle with as we try to work out how to apply God’s word to our everyday situations. We can often find ourselves thinking…‘Help, how do I…?’ 

On the 7th we thinking about how we behave as Christians online.  This session is not just for the ‘internet savvy' as we all live in an increasing online world.  All of us are living lives  which are being shaped by social media.  How do we respond in a godly manner?  We will meet in the Lounge at 10am. Our time together will include brunch and a teaching session followed by discussion. To help with catering please sign up here SIGN UP or phone the office. 

Craft

Following on from the popularity of the Christmas craft evening, and indeed all the other craft evenings the Women's Ministry have held, a number of people have mentioned in conversation how nice it would be to have a more regular craft event.
So we took that feedback on board and are going to be launch a monthly craft evening.  We really want this to be a opportunity where you can invite your friends as a first step to introducing them to Jesus.  We'd also love to meet more regularly with the many women who've already attended outreach events.

So - from Tuesday 17th February we're starting a monthly crafts evening.  Come along yourself, bring your friends, dig out one of those unfinished projects lurking at the back of a cupboard and join us for some chat, home baking and refreshments.  If you don't have anything on the go or have never taken up a craft, come along anyway and hopefully we'll have some ideas for you to get started on something.  We'll have some experts on hand to help you if you're stuck.

We'll meet in the lounge from 7.30-9pm, just come when you can.

Meet the Women at Charlotte: Judith

This post marks the next in a series of interviews with different women who are part of the Charlotte Chapel family. We hope to allow you to hear a little about the different lives we live, what makes us tick and how we seek to grow in our faith. This time, we would like you to meet Judith.

Judith, thank you for agreeing to share some of your story with us. How did you become a Christian?
I am so blessed to have been taught about God and the gospel from an early age, both by my parents and at faithful Bible-believing churches. I don’t ever remember not believing in God, and never doubted the truth of the gospel. When I was young I remember hearing a sermon about how Jesus would one day separate the sheep from the goats, and realising that I had to make a personal decision to trust Him as my saviour. I didn’t, however, have any real sense of a living growing relationship with God at that stage. It wasn’t until I was in my late teens that I came to an understanding of the depths of my sin, the amazing thing Christ had done for me on the Cross, and the need to truly repent and live my life for Him.

Do you have a favourite Christian song that you would like to share?
Too many! It changes all the time. One that has meant a lot to me recently is ‘There is a hope that burns within my heart’ by Stuart Townend. The lyrics have been such a good reminder, amidst life’s difficulties, that Christ is the one solid hope in life and death.

If you could only take one book (in addition to the Bible!) on a desert island what would it be?
Markus Zusak’s ‘The Book Thief’. I love everything about it – the beautiful language, the style, the characters, the subtle humour, the sadness… it’s wonderful.

Hmm, I might have to look that one out. What is a piece of advice that you wish you had worked out earlier?
“You should ‘talk’ to yourself much more than you should ‘listen’ to yourself.” Listening is often to sinful, negative thoughts; I should speak God’s word to myself all the time, instead. I’m still working this one out!

Where is your favourite place to be?
The north coast of Northern Ireland, with my family.

What are you usually doing at 2pm on a Wednesday?
I am attempting (and for that period, it often does feel like only an attempt!) to teach English to a small class of challenging S2s at Forrester High School.

What brings you the greatest joy?
Talking about Jesus to my non-Christian friends. It doesn’t happen nearly enough! 

How did you meet your husband?
At the Chapel.

What challenges does being a Christian bring to your personal situation?
It’s challenging in every area of my life to be a Christian because my selfish sinful nature always wants its own way. Whether it’s being patient with my pupils at school, respecting and submitting to my husband, putting aside my own wants so that I can do what my son needs, speaking about Jesus to people who may think I’m weird… it’s all tough. But praise be to God who gives more and more grace, who is faithful and just to forgive, who always loves and accepts me in Jesus!

If you have enjoyed reading Judith's interview, please do let us know if there are other women at Charlotte that you would like to hear from.

We live in a material world

We live in material world.  In a world obsessed with stuff and money.  A world constructed by a value system that has us preoccupied with possessions and the social image they project.  As Christians we know the pressure to conform to this world.  We are not immune from the allure of the adverts and their seductive messages.  So how do we live in line with the gospel in this material world?  This is the question we considered at our last Women's Ministry brunch.  What does Jesus have to teach us about money, possessions and wealth?

You can listen to the talk here - 
 

Or read the talk below - 
 

The women's ministry brunches are meetings where it is possible to meet older women and younger women, women who you wouldn't normally meet up with.  They provide an opportunity for the development of those deeper relationships we desire with one another.  They provide an opportunity for teaching and learning more about God.  So, if you are an 'older woman', the younger women of Charlotte chapel need you; if you are a 'younger woman', you need an older woman in your life and this is an opportunity to find one!  In reality, we are all younger and older women and we all have a role to play in our church community.  The dates for 2015 are as follows.  Get them in your diary now.  

• February 7th - How do I behave as a Christian online?
• April 25th - How can I be a good friend?
• September 26th - How do I talk to my friends about Jesus?
• November 7th - How do I care for my friend who is hurting?

Meet the women at Charlotte - Lorna

This post marks the next in a series of interviews with different women who are part of the Charlotte Chapel family.  We hope to allow you to hear a little about the different lives we live, what makes us tick and how we seek to grow in our faith.  This time, we would like you to meet  Lorna.

First of all, could you tell us how you became a Christian?

I grew up going to church and Sunday school but it was just something that we did on a Sunday and I stopped going when I was a teenager.  It was only when I went away to University that I realised that I wasn’t a Christian by default.  A good friend Caroline patiently and lovingly challenged me about what I believed.  Rubbish at saying no to things, I attended a few CU events and went to church a few times.  I still didn’t get it but I was struck by there being something different about the Christians that I met that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.  I grew increasingly uncomfortable and realised that I had to look into things myself.  I went to a course at her church exploring Christianity and it was there for the first time that I understood the gospel.  I was faced with the reality of my sin, that I needed a saviour and subsequently put my trust in Jesus.

Thanks for sharing that, if you have a favourite Christian song - what is it?

It’s very hard to choose just one!  Although I listen to a lot of contemporary Christian music, I would choose an older hymn like “When peace like a river”.  The writer’s story behind the song is very moving and reminds us that no matter what we are going through, if we have Christ then we can joyfully sing “it is well with my soul”.

If you knew you were going to a desert island and could take only one book (in addition to the Bible) what would it be?

Something by Alexander McCall Smith. I enjoy reading his 44 Scotland Street series for light relief.

Where is your favourite place to be?

The Isle of Skye.  My parents have a cottage there so I love going when I can to relax and enjoy the beautiful scenery.

What is your signature dish in the kitchen?

Friends might say Tiramisu.  It was tasted by enough people at University to get a mention in my yearbook entry so it has stuck with me since!

What brings you the greatest joy?

Spending quality time with family and friends.

Finally, what challenges does being a Christian bring to your personal situation?

I work as a GP which is a great privilege but brings many challenges.  It is hard being a good witness for Christ in a busy and stressful job, as well as dealing with some of the ethical situations that arise.  I am thankful for the support of Christian friends and colleagues as we encourage one another in the ups and downs of work and life.  The following verses remind me who we are ultimately serving which can keep me going through a long day!

Colossians 3:23-24 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

Thanks to Lorna for sharing some of her story.  Do feel free to suggest other women who you would like to get to know through these interviews.

What did you do over Summer? Missions and camps #2

Another one of our students tells us about what she did this summer.

Could you tell us a little about who you are and what you normally do during the year?

My name is Rachel and I am from a town called Newtownards just outside Belfast in Northern Ireland. I am a 4th  year Sports Management student at the University of Edinburgh.

What were you involved with over the summer? 

Each summer I go home to Northern Ireland where I am involved in various Scripture Union camps and missions.  This year I was involved in 3 teams across Northern Ireland.  The first team I was a part of was called Enniskillen 360, which aimed to go 360 degrees around the town of Enniskillen with the good news of the gospel.  The week’s programme involved: a kids club each day where we looked at the life of Peter and the cost of following Jesus; dance, sport and art streams for teenagers; a teenager drop-in and detached work in the evenings which involved going into various estates and working with predominantly travelling and roman catholic communities. 

I then spent two weeks up at the picturesque north coast, at Portstewart CSSM. For those who don’t know, CSSM’s are very popular in Northern Ireland, particularly in sea side towns.  Contrary to popular belief, CSSM stands for ‘Children’s special service mission’ and not ‘Come single, soon married’.The mission was absolutely action packed, lasting for two weeks, with a team of 70 leaders, over 350 children each day and three sessions per day, it is safe to say that we all went home and slept for a long time afterwards.  I was working with the 12-14 year olds, where we had around 50 children each meeting.  Our themes for the fortnight were ‘God’ and ‘Jesus’, so we looked at topics such as creation, heavenly father, the cross etc.  We also shared our testimonies, played sport, had a social, did a photo challenge, made most of the beach and had small group discussions. 

My final team was called ‘Millisle CSSM’, a team which I have be a part of for the last three years.  This sea-side town is close to home, only 7 miles from where I live.  It is a much smaller area, with a lot fewer children coming each day, but it is very much a geographical area where Jesus is not known personally to a lot of people.  In the past two years we have seen this mission grow as we now do detached work in the neighbouring village.  I was working mostly alongside the teenagers this year were we looked at the armour of God and did similar activities as Portstewart. 

What were the biggest things you learnt through being part of that?

Each individual team taught me a lot.  Travelling to Enniskillen, give me experience in working with and sharing the gospel with people from deprived backgrounds and of travelling and Roman Catholic communities.  I saw so clearly how people are desperate in need of the gospel and how we need to go out and reach the unreached- we can’t expect them to come to us.  Going into the estates was daunting, as you were always unsure of people’s response, especially as you were going into their territory, but God showed me his faithfulness and his sovereignty over every situation. 

I came away from Portstewart very encouraged particularly by the faith of young teenage girls.  Seeing their passion to understand the bible more, support each other and pray for one another was very uplifting and a joy to see and be a part of. 

Through Millisle, I had the privilege of building on relationships I have been building over the past couple of years with people in the area.  I was also reminded of the importance of continuity of leaders in teams. year Sports Management student at the University of Edinburgh. 

How does what you learnt help you live as a Christian woman the rest of the year?

Despite my mission teams finishing, mission hasn’t.  God has called me to different mission fields-amongst my course mates, my family and sports teams.  Being a servant of Jesus, being on mission and telling people about him is not limited to people I meet over summer nor do I need to be on an organised team to share him with others.  People are everywhere and in need of knowing Jesus personally, God has called me to particular places and I need to be bold in sharing him.  I need to bring everything before God in pray and have faith that God will use me in my weakness for his glory.

What did you do over Summer? Missions and camps

I hope you enjoyed reading the stories of those who were at Contagious.  Some of our congregation were at other camps and missions this summer.  Sophie and Kirsty tell us about their experiences.

Could you tell us a little about who you are and what you normally do during the year?

I'm Sophie and I'm third student at the University of Edinburgh where I study Theology. When not at uni, I'm at home in Kent. 

What were you involved with over the summer?

This summer I have been involved in two different areas of mission.  The first involved helping in a Christian school in South Africa called Tiger Kloof.  There I worked with all ages but primarily with the 6/7 year olds.  I also put on a bible study with another girl covering 1 John.   

The second thing I did was help lead on Iwerne holidays which is an activity holiday for teenagers, where they hear talks from the bible.  It was my first time leading on one of these camps.  I had a great time getting alongside the GCSE girls I was with, and investigating the gospel with them.

What were the biggest things you learnt this summer and how does what you learnt help you live as a Christian woman the rest of the year?

I learnt a lot about working with young Christians and it was amazing to be a part of a school where Jesus was at the heart.  The South Africa trip was lonely at times and so I think it helped me to rely more on Jesus as a wonderful friend who is there no matter what!

On the camps I got to see what a joy it is to serve Christ and I learnt how without him and his Spirit no ministry is effective.  This was a great truth to be reminded of as I go into my third year to just be completely reliant on God. 

Could you tell us a little about who you are and what you normally do during the year?
My name is Kirsty and I work at Virgin Active Health Club.

What were you involved with over the summer?
For a week during the summer I was a leader at an SU Camp in Scoughall.  Throughout the week we were learning about Mark's Gospel and doing various fun activities like Boating, BMX Biking and Bivouacking.  This was an amazing experience and I would totally recommend it to anyone who is thinking about doing a camp next summer.

What were the biggest things you learnt this summer?
One of the biggest things I have learnt from God this summer is that everything is in HIS control and in HIS timing.  We have to keep our focus on him and trust him and let go of our grip on things that we think we need or want.  If something is in God's will for our lives then it won't slip from our grasp, God is much bigger than that.  "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16 v 9

How does what you learnt help you live as a Christian woman the rest of the year?
Having Jesus as my Lord and Saviour has turned my life right side up and I am so thankful for his unconditional love.  I am constantly learning new things about God as I read the Bible and from talking to other Christians.  I pray that I would keep on trusting God, keep my focus on him and his timing in future circumstances.

If you know of someone who has an interesting story to share please get in touch at womenatcharlotte@gmail.com.