No priorities to disciple other women? No problem! Part 4

Every morning when I go to brush my teeth, my two-year old climbs up to the counter and watches intensely for bubbles to appear out of my mouth.  She even wants to help me brush and make the bubbles come. Then without fail whenever I brush her teeth she joyfully exclaims, “Bu-bo coming?!”  Our children watch what we do. And often they want to join us. As I’ve been thinking about objections to discipling as a young mother, this one may be another.

Objection #3: 

My children are my priority.

I can’t divide my time.

Precisely because they are learning about life by watching, don’t we want our children to see us caring for and investing in other people?  We want them to know that our relationship with our husband is a priority because God prioritizes marriage in his word.  Likewise, when I have a younger lady into my home – when my children see us discussing a book, opening Scripture or praying together or talking about Jesus while we cut up veggies -  what a marvelous opportunity it is to show them that the body of Christ is intimately involved in each other’s life.

This is another priority God places on the church: the fellowship of believers. My children get to learn that Mommy talks to lots of people about Jesus. She talks to me and she talks to Auntie Jessica. And Auntie Kate. Lord willing, in their minds, it is a normal and important thing for Jesus to be a part of every day conversations. It is a normal and important thing for people from church to be coming to their home and involved in Mommy’s life.

My bubble-loving two-year-old has surprised me on more than one occasion.  As I get ready to pray with a lady, I will ask the kids to play quietly so we can pray.  More than once, she has toddled over to me and said, “I pay too.” And she’ll climb up in my lap and ceremonially cover her eyes, sit still, and wait quietly while we pray.

Our children are watching and learning more than we know. Modeling discipleship to your children in this way is not a forsaking of them as your priority.  Father God, I pray You would use these moments to show my children the implications of the gospel lived out.  I pray that my kids will catch a vision for how following Christ involves my giving my attention to other people for the sake of gospel growth.  I pray they will see the body of Christ building itself up in love (Eph. 4:16).

Wisdom in all things

There is no doubt that young mommyhood is a tiring, if not exhausting, season of life. We need God’s wisdom to decide how to spend our waking moments.  And sometimes wisdom requires us to say “No” to an extra relationship at this time.  But let us also not excuse ourselves from ministering to the saints because of the busyness of this season.  Let us rather run this race with others and rejoice that we can fall into bed exhausted each night because we have given ourselves for others, emulating our Savior in how he has given himself for us.

Orginally posted by Melanie Young on domestickingdom.com

No sufficiency to disciple other women? No problem! Part 3

Every mom wants to be a better mom.  On a good day in our home things are running relatively smoothly and our children are good-natured, peaceful, and obedient.  Things just seem to click.

On another day in our home someone would think they had walked into the twilight zone.  My son will be using his pencil to catapult his eraser across the table when he should be concentrating on school, my daughter will be doing headstands on the stairs while singing at the top of her lungs, and the two-year-old will be sitting in the bathroom sink with soapy water sloshed all over the floor (and yes, I put her there).  Dirty dishes will be in the kitchen sink, clean laundry will be piled on the couch waiting to be folded, and I am about at the end of my patience.

As I think about discipling other women and I consider what kind of role model I want to be, I don’t want people seeing all that.  My second objection to sharing my life in discipling other women is my pride.

Objection #2: 

I’m not one to be emulated.

My children aren’t obedient enough.

I’m not fill-in-the-blank enough.

It’s true.  I’m not.  They’re not.  And I’ll never be.  But praise God that we “can boast all the more gladly of [our] weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon [us]” (2 Cor 12:9).  To disciple another woman doesn’t mean you have to be the perfect mother and your children have to be perfect.

As one author put it:

“I love my fellow-Christians not simply because of the gospel, but I love them best when I am loving them with the gospel! And I do this not merely by speaking gospel words to them, but also by living before them and generously relating to them in a gospel manner.  Imparting my life to them in this way, I thereby contribute to their experience of the power, the Spirit, and the full assurance of the gospel.”  (Milton Vincent,A Gospel Primer for Christians, page 22)

When I invite a young woman into my life and she sees my failings and my sin, I have the opportunity to show what kind of people Christ came to die for: sinful, blemished people.  I have the occasion to communicate that apart from Christ’s gracious work in my life I would be a much meaner, more selfish mom.  I can show this younger woman how to rejoice in the fact that Christ came to heal the sick and needy, not the healthy and perfect.

I also have the gospel reapplied to me when I realize that my example may actually benefit the younger woman by showing them what NOT to do or be.  Ouch!  What a humbling reality!  As my pride balks at this idea I am made aware of my need for even more grace!  Yet I can rejoice as even my insufficiencies are helping this younger believer know Christ more and grow in Him.

I can thank God for the opportunity to know my own limitations and boast in Christ!  As I seize the sufficiency of Christ for my motherhood on any day– smoothly-running or Twilight Zone– this younger believer gets to experience a dose of reality.

Orginally posted by Melanie Young on domestickingdom.com

No time to disciple other women? No problem! Part 2

What are some reasons we don’t disciple as young moms? How does the gospel challenge these objections?  To explore these questions I wrote down some of the objections that I’ve used before. Here’s the first one (of several)…

Objection #1:  I don’t have the time or energy.  Discipling younger women is not convenient. 

The other day I was trying to figure out how to make something.  And my son said to me, “Just use your computer and search for it.”  Ta-da.  Instant information with the push of a button.  No need go to the library to find a book or call an expert for advice.  All I had to do was push a button.

We live in a culture of convenience.  Things come easily and often instantly.  In some ways, this ease of life cuts against the very grain of Christianity which calls us to deny ourselves and live for Someone greater.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  Ephesians 5:1-2  

Christ loved sinners to the point of death on a cross!  If we have received that sacrifice, how can we not also sacrifice to love others by investing in their lives?  If we are in Christ how can we not also be energized by his strength?  Christ has redeemed that sister in your church.  He means to sanctify her and make her more like Christ.  If our lives can be used by God in his work of sanctification, we would be wise to consider whether this objection of inconvenience and lack of energy is legitimate or not.

It’s true: life only gets busier with children.  As moms, we are responsible to train up our children in the fear of the Lord and they should be one of our main priorities.  It does require much of our best time and energy. But are we making the best use of the time because the days are evil (Eph. 5:16)?

If I examine my own life truthfully, I admit that I find myself checking into email or browsing on Facebook more than necessary.  That’s just one example of how I waste time. Sometimes I want to selfishly get away from my kids for a moment.  Sometimes it’s to legitimately relax or do work.  

But for all those times where I am wasting my time, how much more fruitful would it be to read a good book, a gospel-centered article, or meditate on some truth of Scripture? How much more fruitful would it be if I gathered those wasted minutes and do that with another believer? The truth is that I am lazy and selfish. I want to do what is easy. And it is pathetically easier for me to be temporarily satisfied knowing the latest status of all my friends, rather than in thinking about how I might access grace through the powerful Word or thinking about how I might benefit another spiritually.

Nothing about Christ dying on the cross was convenient for Him.  It wasn’t an easy task that took no effort.  Likewise, we shouldn’t expect that imitating Christ should be easy. He suffered and gave his life for His people.  Why should we expect to do any less?

As we look forward to the privilege of being God’s instruments for sanctification in the lives of other believers, we should embrace the price associated with it and rejoice in Jesus’ provision of everything we need.

Orginally posted by Melanie Young on domestickingdom.com

Discipleship is for young moms, too. Part 1

Our posting for this week is a re-post of a 4-part series on Discipleship and Young Mums (Moms in the blog!).  The reason for posting it is that I've recently been challenged about how I can be selfish with my time and how inward looking I am when it comes to planning my week.  It gives a gentle encouragement to make the most of our time and how discipleship can be part of our everyday schedules.  Although there are specific examples from a young mum's perspective, I would suggest that there is a challenge in there for all women to be more intentional in discipling younger women.

As a mom of young children, I feel like I’m going, going, going all the time.  On a typical day I have devotions to be done, breakfast to make, chores to supervise, reading to do, games to play, school to teach, lunch to make, diapers to change, dishes to clean, training to do, gospel conversations to have, naps to enforce, peace to keep, dinner to prepare, family bonding to facilitate, laundry to fold, and so on and so on.

Where in that long list of important activities can I find time or energy to disciple younger women?  How much should helping other Christians grow factor into my daily plans?  What could this discipleship look like?

Discipleship looks different in different seasons and as a Christian woman who desires to see the gospel magnified, being a part of the growth of other Christians is a privilege and a necessity.  When Christ came, he died for a people.  At the end of time, Christ will present his bride, the church, radiant and blameless to himself (Eph. 5).  There is no such thing as lone-ranger Christianity!  Especially in this season of motherhood with young children (which itself can tend to be isolating and lonely) involvement in another believer’s life can refreshingly lift our gaze from the mundane tasks of the day to the bigger reality of what the Lord is doing to make a people for himself.

What do young moms have to offer to younger women?

Because we get the privilege of serving little ones day in and day out, often with little self-initiated appreciation, we get the opportunity to live out the gospel before watching eyes.

As Christ came not to be served but to serve (Matt. 20:28), our dying to self to serve our children displays Christlikeness. As believers we are all being made more and more into the image of Christ, by the grace of God.

Motherhood in the young years lends a unique crucible into which our selfish natures are refined to be more holy. That should be shared with others!

In the area of biblical womanhood, the “younger me “would have benefited hugely from a true picture of what young motherhood looked like.  I loved children and wanted a family.  But I think a realistic idea of the work involved in raising children and keeping the home would have informed some of the choices I had made.  I had an inflated view of what I could accomplish in my waking hours.  I thought I could be a doctor, a pastor’s wife, and mom-extraordinaire all in one.

I had spent much time shadowing doctors, but I hadn’t initiated much to spend time with a mom.  I think if I had, her life would have offered much wisdom to me as I considered what kind of degree I got, what career I pursued, or how much I financially invested in my education.  Seeing a real-life picture of biblical womanhood and having realistic role models would have challenged my proud thoughts of being able to do all and have all and be all.

Discipleship should be happening in all seasons of life: single, married, having young children, having teenagers, growing old, retiring.  Each season brings its own freedoms and limitations.  Because of the unique season of young motherhood, discipleship will probably not look like formally sitting down with a younger woman and digging into the depths of Scripture for hours.

More likely this discipleship will happen in intentional conversations and pictures of gospel application facilitated by opportunities to correct children or pick up toys.  You can pray for one another woman and lift each other before the Lord even with your two-year old wiggling in your lap.  Being a young mother is not an excuse to not disciple younger women, it is a reason to do so.

Orginally posted by Melanie Young on domestickingdom.com

Gospel Intentionality: simple solutions for blundering believers (part 3)

3) Pray specifically for 3 non-Christians that you would have the opportunity to share the Gospel with them.

If we want to build intentional relationships where sharing your faith is a natural part of conversation with friends, then we need to be deliberate in our prayers.  Why not commit three non-Christian friends or colleagues or family members regularly to the Lord.  Pray that He would draw them to Himself and that He would give you grace to make the most of every opportunity that comes your way.

To get you thinking, for your encouragement, and to help you see the variance in what this looks like for different people, I asked a few of the women in Charlotte to tell us some of the ways in which they are trying to be intentional in building relationships as a platform for sharing the gospel.

Here’s what they said…..

• For me, the main thing is to try to be so constantly saturated with the things of God that in every possible scenario it's natural for me to think of ways to try and turn the conversation down a path which allows me to share the Gospel - so I guess I want intentionality to be my natural response.

• I think being honest with the people we're speaking to is a good place to start.  For example, we can pretty much be talking around any topic and sin in some shape or form will come up - if it's something I've done or struggled with (and it usually is) I would try and say something about that, which then leads to either explaining why I don't do it anymore or don't want to do it etc etc or even better the other person acknowledges that I've changed in relation to whatever the sin is and asks me how.

• Christmas is an amazing gift to evangelism - a simple thing is I send tracts out with Christmas cards, including to everyone in my department at work.

• Facebook is there to be redeemed and I try and post things that might make people think - I also keep my friend network wide and then regulate what I see from my end - so that I can post things for them to see but I don't have to see the things they post (by unsubscribing to them but keeping them as friends).

• Because I'm at work all day I don't have to try to hard to meet people - they're everywhere!  Being asked what I've done at the weekend is an easy way to introduce a conversation (assuming I've been at church!).  

• I think that the more we are spending our time wisely - reading Scripture, reading books on anything to do with Christianity, involved in Church, discipling others, submitting to one another, loving each other etc etc - the more often a benign question like how are you or what have you been up to can provide a platform for sharing the Gospel.  I've really noticed that in my own life.  If I've spent the weekend or my weeknights at home in front of the TV, my response to what have you been up to is pretty rubbish - nothing much.  But if I've been spending my time wisely - there's all manner of great things I could say which might open the conversation up - and that goes for colleagues, friends, close family and family that I maybe don't see so regularly.

• Most of my non- Christian friends at the moment are mums from school, I try to spend time with them building friendships and when the opportunity comes along I can invite them to events.

• Investing time with people is valuable and once people get to know you they are more open.

• I help with S.U. group and this is a good way of getting to know the children and the mums

• I have been intentional in spending time with the muslim mums at school, it is easier to talk to them about being a Christian as they have a belief themselves.

• I invited one of my colleagues to a book group with girls from my church.  This is a good way for her to meet other Christians and also our faith influences the things we talk about and can be a good way to naturally share the gospel.

•  Another simple thing I do is to go to the same coffee shop to get coffee.  There is a new independent coffee shop near my flat which I go to.  Being their first customer one Sunday morning means they now know I go to church.  By having quick chats each day I buy my coffee I am hoping better conversations will open up in the future - who knows!  

• Asking people what they believe and why.  We often think we need to defend our beliefs as Christians while not often asking other people what they think.  So I think the why question is a great way to open up more conversations.  I guess I need to use that more!

• I have been deliberate in asking my sister to be a bridesmaid at my wedding.  It is so that we can spend some time together and we will have a chance to share our life with her.  From now on I trust God to do what he will, and help prepare for the fruits of the love of Jesus by including her in my new life, in a way that she feels able and wants to be included - she loves dresses, make up, shoes so bridesmaid is a good job for her! Also it means she will have the chance to mix with my other Christian friends. 

• I was asked by a guy, I occasionally worked with, what apps I had on my phone. I told him the Bible was the only app I used (at that time) which led to a chat.

• In my job I always mention a few times that I go to church or give an anecdote about church, or tell them about the great youth work my children go to at church, to see if I get a response.

• I've taken meals to people (parents of Daughter’s school friends) having kitchens fitted.

• Try to chum neighbour when she walks her dog.

• We invite our neighbours around every Christmas to mulled wine and mince pies with an invite to carol service. I try to invite them to secular things, like going to cinema, throughout the year so they don't feel they only get invite to Christian things.

• The main thing I do at the moment is go to a book group.

• Taking meals to families with a new baby - so normal in church but such a surprise to anyone else when you do it, and a chance to talk about why.

• Pray for individuals and for opportunities to speak the gospel. That God would help me be specific. In some seasons we can be overwhelmed by the opportunities (eg at school gate), at others they are more limited.

• Memorise scripture, eg Romans 1v16, proverbs 3 v 5-6., passages that speak to my own personal weaknesses, temptations. Then speak them to myself at appropriate times!

•  Love people. Text, send cards, deliver food/meals, offer help with Childcare. Be someone that people will talk to and tell their problems too, someone they trust. And let them help you as well.

• Listen well. And then respond. Get involved with school fair, school outings, any opportunity to meet/get alongside people.

• Give a book appropriate to where people are (eg I gave my dad who moved the stone? Frank Morison after we were there at Easter and he asked how we knew the resurrection happened.)

• Know when to speak and when not to speak. I struggle with this one, always want it to happen in my timing and not Gods! Sometimes not appropriate to share the gospel as about being there for your neighbours when they need you.

• Speak about God in normal speech, talk about what you did at the weekend, what the kids are involved in, use this as opportunities to ask other children along to Christian things.

• Trust that God will work things for good and in His timing!

Gospel Intentionality: simple solutions for blundering believers (Part 2)

2) Equip yourself to share the Gospel when it comes along

Building relationships with the aim of getting to the gospel is a pretty futile exercise if we don’t know how to share the gospel.  Admittedly, we should all be able to share the gospel.  If we know enough to believe, we know enough to share.  But could this be improved?  If you’ve only got 3 or 4 minutes (or less) to share the gospel, do you have a helpful framework in mind to help you do this?

The ladies at Time Out on a Tuesday morning have recently gone through the Two Ways to Live course http://www.matthiasmedia.com.au/2wtl/.  If you have not already gone through this course, it is a great tool to learn the Gospel in a clear and ordered way using Scripture as the basis. If this is something you would like to do, it could be done in a group, one-to-one, or individually. Speak to a member of the pastoral team if you are interested in this.  See the difference it makes? 

Gospel Intentionality: simple solutions for blundering believers (Part 1)

Our pastor from when I was younger was very passionate about the gospel.  He was incredibly persuasive in pointing out the many reasons why we must be reaching out to non-Christians.  It was never hard to want to share the gospel with unbelievers after hearing him preach. 

However, on weekdays it all seemed rather hard.  I realised I was stuck as to how to naturally get to the point of talking about Jesus with my non-Christian friends.  I would go weeks and weeks without any opportunities.  Then when an opportunity arose, I blundered my way through whatever I had to offer in such a way that it left my friends confused.  A bit like this…

Am I on my lonesome here?  Or can you associate with this?  Have you ever found yourself listening to sermons, getting fired up then thinking:

“I never get any opportunities to talk about Jesus.”“I don’t know how to get to the place where it would be natural to start talking about the Gospel.”“I just don’t know how to bring it up, or what to say.”

If you can associate with one or all of those thoughts, let me share with you a three-point plan that can help you connect with unbelievers and know what to say when the opportunity arises.

1.  Be Intentional in building relationships- Gospel Intentionality
2.  Equip yourself to share the Gospel when the opportunity comes along
3.  Pray specifically for 3 non-Christians that you would have the opportunity to share the Gospel with in the next 6 months.

1) Gospel Intentionality

Intentionality is something of a buzz word just now.  It’s simply means to be deliberate about something.  Prefix this buzzword with ‘Gospel’ and you have a phrase that talks about being deliberate in building relationships where sharing the Gospel is our aim. 

Tim Keller is the Senior Pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City, and has come up with 10 practical pointers for helping us build deliberate Gospel relationships:

1. Let people around you know you are a Christian (in a natural, unforced way)

2. Ask friends about their faith – and just listen!

3. Listen to your friend’s problems – maybe offer to pray for them

4. Share your problems with others – testify to how your faith helps you

5. Give them a book to read

6. Share your story

7. Answer objections and questions

8. Invite them to a church event

9. Offer to read the Bible with them

10. Take them to an explorers course like CE

Keller’s counsel is to view these 10 pointers in stages.  Most of the time we start with 1-4.  Then, if people are interested and want to talk more you can move on to stages 5-7.  If they’re still expressing a desire to know more, then we can naturally progress to stages 8-10.  Clearly, there will be occasions when people will want to go straight to 10, but often people start from way back and need some time to think and discuss things in a non-pressured way.  We often think that only stages 8-10 count and invest all our energy there.  But Keller suggests that to get people at stages 8,9,10 you have to put the work in at 1-4, and sometimes you’ll have to keep going round the loop multiple times. (HT salternite)

part 2 to come on Friday.........